We take a break from the doom-loop to ponder the unimportant. Yes it is nearly Eurovision time again and the UK have chosen their act. “This year’s UK entry for Eurovision will be Remember Monday, singing the power pop ballad WTHJH (What the Hell Just Happened), the BBC has confirmed.”
The selection of the country-inflected female trio – who describe themselves as “pop girlies with a lil bit of yeehaw” – was announced by Scott Mills on his Radio 2 show this morning.
Remember Monday participated in series eight of The Voice in 2019, where their performances included a cover of Seal’s Kiss from a Rose. They also appeared on the US TV show of their Voice mentor Jennifer Hudson in January 2024, covering Alanis Morissette’s Hand in My Pocket.”
Do you know what caught my eye about these lovely ladies and their lovely song? Nothing. That’s what makes me so happy about this choice.
“Remember Monday are a British country-pop girl group from Surrey, made up of Lauren Byrne, Holly-Anne Hull, and Charlotte Steele. The trio met while studying together at Sixth Form College Farnborough, and soon bonded over a shared passion for music.”
Lauren, Holly – Anne and Charlotte from Farnborough, Surrey. Honestly, I don’t think I have written a nicer sentence than that in a while. Farnborough is just to the east of Surrey which is a beautiful part of the world. It also has Surrey Hills which have spectacular views but that’s on the west. I bet the girls had the quintessential middle – class English childhood.
I’m loving this entry because this is what pop music should be – a catchy tune, with let’s say simple lyrics, sung by a trio of hotties. It’s all so 90s. Do you know what this song isn’t – the usual predictable ‘edgy’ nonsense such as the vile Bambie Thug that was Ireland’s entry last year and I did not take kindly to. Or the UKs also boringly predictable in its lets shock the grannies featuring Olly Alexander and a bunch of blokes jumping around and singing a very bad song.
Anyway, back to the hotties. The video is beautiful in its simplicity and features the girls waking up from a hard night asking what the hell just happened? I don’t know girls, you tell me. Do you know what they are not singing about? Transgenderism or accepting themselves or their mental health issues or diversity or that Palestine should be free from the river to the sea. Honestly just typing those words is like a breath of free air.
They are also dressed just as you would expect three hotties from Surrey to be dressed: namely middle class slutty. All three have luscious long hair, two of them are wearing corsets FFS (they probably should have been told that the corset is underwear and something is supposed to be worn over it but each to their own), finished with pearls. Goodness, the things I could teach them.
Anyway the girls have woken up in what looks like some kind of country house of which there are plenty of in Surrey. I like to think it is the home of one of their boyfriends – his father made a lot of money in the city – and they are trying to piece together what happened the night before.
The chorus is: “What the hell just happened? What the hell just happened? No clue, but l liked it.” I bet you did Lauren. I bet you did.
The second chorus is: “What the hell just happened? What the hell just happened? Went up on the roof, jumped into the pool. You should do it too, too, too, too. What the hell just happened? No clue, but l liked it.”
Now girls, Charlotte perhaps, you do this kind of thing and the next time you sing a song will be from a wheelchair after paralysing yourself from the waist down. So you’d want to watch yourself.
Holly – Anne, (I like to think its Holly – Anne) tells us, “Ripped my dress, call an ex, I confess, I’m obsessed, not the best idea, Woo-ooh, I’m a mess, it’s a trend, in my defence, It’s been a real hard year.”
Look we have all been there, don’t worry about it. Now tell me how do you get hair so silky?
So there we have it – a gem of a song from the British for Eurovision. An absolute gem featuring three diamonds. You can watch the video here.
You are welcome.