‘There was no dignity for our family,’ says niece of Irish man who died by euthanasia

An Irish family have shared their devastation over the loss of their 59-year old uncle, who ended his life by euthanasia at a Dignitas clinic in Switzerland in September. Emer Maguire, representing Hope Ireland, shared the family’s poignant testimony of finding out their uncle Jay had died, five days after his death, during a hearing of the Joint Oireachtas Committee this week. 

Jay had travelled to Switzerland alone, leaving a letter at home for the family. Ms Maguire, who spoke on behalf of the organisation, which aims to promote positive end of life care options – advocating against euthanasia and assisted suicide – told Irish TDs and senators “there was no dignity for our family” regarding their beloved uncle’s death.

In a powerful open letter released on what would have been her uncle’s birthday in October, Ms Maguire, wrote: “He would have celebrated his 60th birthday today, 21st Oct 2023.” In the extensive letter, she remembered a “fun, generous, kind, loving, a wonderful brother, uncle and granduncle, friend, colleague and golf buddy” who will be missed immensely by his family and friends.

She said that in the wake of her uncle’s death, the family are left with a myriad of unanswered questions, along with emotions of “guilt and anger” as she urged Ireland to reject legalsing assisted suicide, and to “fight against the culture of death” – which she said had become “pervasive” in today’s society.

“Please don’t inflict the suffering that we have suffered on any more families,” she urged Irish lawmakers in the moving letter, stating that her goal was to convince the citizens of Ireland that ‘Assisted Dying’ is “not the answer to the suffering.”

Ms Maguire read partially from the open letter before the Oireachtas during Tuesday’s Committee hearing,, but due to circumstances which do not allow individuals to be named, she was prevented from reading the whole letter. We have printed the letter in full below.

'There was no dignity for our family'

Emer Maguire tells the Oireachtas Committee of losing a family member to Euthanasia/Assisted Suicide pic.twitter.com/AIGvjfHnFy

— Hope Ireland (@hopeire1) November 24, 2023

The family only buried the ashes of their uncle in October, with Ms Maguire explaining how they were left to wait 18 days before they could receive the ashes in order to hold a funeral for Jay.  

Ms Maguire’s uncle Jay travelled, unbeknown to the family, to Switzerland, where he died on 26th September. He had no physical health conditions, but had struggled with his mental health, Ms Maguire told the Committee. 

“Jay died by Euthanasia in Switzerland on Tuesday 26th September 2023. He was in good physical health and travelled on his own to Switzerland to a clinic owned by a company called Pegasos,” an emotional Ms Maguire told the Committee as she fought back tears.

“He was met there by a man called Sean Davison who is the Director of Exit International UK, an organisation which describes itself as a not for profit organisation whose mission is to provide up to date and accurate end of life information to elderly people of sound mind regardless of where they may live.”

Jay, she explained, was a “much loved” uncle of 26 nieces and nephews, and the youngest of 10 children.

Detailing the distressing circumstances surrounding his death, Ms Maguire told the Committee that he had arranged to meet up with his sister, but when he did not turn up, alarm bells started ringing for the family.

“Prior to Sunday 1st October, no one in Jay’s family had ever heard of Exit International,” she explained.

“The previous weekend, Jay had spoken to his brother about the Ireland v Scotland rugby match, had arranged to meet his sister for a drink on Sat night 30th and had told his nephew arriving home from San Francisco that he would leave the key out for him if he was not home when he arrived on the Saturday.

“When he failed to turn up to meet his sister and his nephew arrived at an unusually clean but empty house, both of them became worried about his well being. His family were aware that he had been struggling with his mental health and had been engaged with mental health services and taking anti-depressant medication,” she explained.

“This sister and nephew had been particularly involved in helping him deal with his anxiety and depression. The Gardai and other family members were contacted and a missing file was being prepared on Sunday morning.”

Ms Maguire continued to detail, in the open letter, how, on that same morning, her cousin had continued his own investigations into Jay’s apparent disappearance. 

“A further search through the bins in the yard produced a torn up piece of paper with a number on it which he promptly rang. A man answered and when asked if he knew my Uncle, replied that Jay’s sister would receive a call in the afternoon. 

“About 30 minutes later, she received a call from Sean Davison to tell her that Jay had died by Euthanasia 5 days previously in Switzerland and that he was with him when he died and identified his body after his death. 

“He had been cremated on the morning of Sunday 1st October and his ashes would be sent to her house during the week. He went on to say that he was ‘joyful’ on the day of his death and had requested that his family not be notified of his death until after his cremation. When she asked about who he was, he named the organisation and said that Jay had been a member of this organisation for 15  years.”

Ms McGuire, in the open letter, detailed the history of Mr Davidson, a leading euthanasia campaigner and Director of Exit International. He is also the former President of the World Federation of Right to Die Societies. In 2019, the South African activist was convicted of murder for helping three people to kill themselves. He was freed from a three-year-long house arrest in 2022.

“Sean Davison describes his role in Exit International as follows ‘I currently manage all aspects of Exit’s Application Assistance Program and our ID program.’ In essence, he ensures that the application to die in Switzerland is successful and identifies the body after their death,” she wrote.

“In 2011, Sean Davison pleaded guilty to the  assisted suicide of his own mother the previous year. In 2019, Davison pleaded guilty again to the murder of 3 people through assisted suicide in South Africa where he lived. He was sentenced to 3 years house arrest and on his release he relocated to the UK with his family to take up his role in Exit International. In 2020, he was struck off the medical register in New Zealand where he had graduated.”

‘SHOCK AND DESPAIR’

Going on to detail the devastation visited on the family on learning of Jay’s death, Ms Maguire compared it to “living through a horror movie.” She said nobody around him had any indication of what was to come.

 “The shock and despair which descended on our family in the aftermath of this phone call can only be likened to living through a horror movie. The days and events which followed led to so many questions. His brother located a letter after a few days which should have helped his family to understand this decision but only left them feeling more distraught,” she wrote.

 “While those closest to Jay were aware that he was struggling with his mental health, he managed to mask this with most of the people around him. He played golf 3 times a week and had gone on a number of golf outings up until the week before he died. He had attended an Ireland rugby match with some relatives in the weeks before his death and had chatted on the phone to a number of relatives and friends, none of whom had any suspicion of what was to come.”

“He described how he had been thinking about this for over 4 years and had put the plan in place months ago. His only regret was that he hadn’t done it sooner. His letter never mentioned any of his family or friends (of whom he had many) but made special mention of the compassion and empathy he experienced dealing with Exit International and Pegasus Switzerland.

Ms Maguire said that her uncle’s thoughts had become “very dark,” and he was no longer recognisable as “the person who had enjoyed living in so many ways.”

“In my opinion, and that of those closest to me, his letter read in many ways like that of a person who had been brainwashed and couldn’t see the world around him in a rational way. His thoughts had become very dark and the person who had enjoyed living in so many ways during his life was no longer evident,” she said.

“The letter highlighted how self absorbed his thoughts had become but also how ‘apparently’ rational he appeared through things like organising his affairs meticulously and requesting that his family not ‘speculate’ about how he had come to this decision. One family member mused at whether the content had been ‘dictated’ by those organising his death.”

“Unfortunately or fortunately as the case may be, it is human nature for the grieving loved ones to ‘speculate’ in the aftermath of such a life altering experience.

“The 19th century poet William Blake famously wrote ‘We Become what we Behold’. In Jay’s context, it begs the question that if he was indeed a ‘member’ of this organisation for 15 years, what influence did it have on shaping and distorting his view of his life and this world,” she continued.

Ms Maguire said she had listened to meetings of the Oireachtas Committee, which will make a recommendation next year on whether or not to amend Irish law to permit assisted suicide.

‘JAY WAS IN FULL PHYSICAL HEALTH AND 59 YEARS OF AGE’

“Since Jay’s death, I have inevitably done a lot of reading and research in this area and am painfully aware of the powerful narrative which is present in our own country about allowing people to ‘Die with Dignity’. I have tuned into the meetings of the Oireachtas committee on assisted dying over the last number of weeks and am very afraid of what is coming down the road for our country.

 “Without exception, anyone I told about my Uncle’s death by Euthanasia assumed that he was either terminally ill or very elderly. Their response tends to be that they can understand how it would be helpful if someone was suffering terribly and was nearing natural death. Jay was neither of these. Jay was in full physical health and 59 years of age. Yes he was suffering mentally but could one say that this was terminal?”

Ms Maguire also pointed to the abortion referendum of 2018, and said that ‘hard cases’ were also being used in Ireland’s debate around assisted death to campaign for a change in the law.

“As was done with the abortion referendum in 2018, this campaign will centre around the ‘hard cases’. The unfortunate person who develops motor neuron disease or is suffering with a terminal cancer diagnosis,” she wrote. 

“Unfortunately, despite the best protestations of those in favour of introducing this legislation in Ireland, experience has shown us in the case of abortion, that the legislation introduced was much more far reaching than the ‘hard cases’ which were central to the pro-abortion campaign. Indeed the recent 3 year review looks like it will lead to further widening of the net of abortion.

“One just has to look at the work of Sean Davison to see how this ‘slippery slope’ happens. In 2010, undoubtedly from a place of compassion, he ‘helped’ his mother to end her suffering due to a terminal cancer diagnosis.”

She referenced what she described as an “obsession” with making euthanasia legal worldwide on the part of Mr Davidson. She also decried how it took 2 days before Mr Davidson returned a call to answer questions about her uncle’s death.

“Fast forward to his 2019 conviction, he has ‘helped’ 3 more people to die, firstly his quadriplegic friend and 2 further people who had come to him through his role in Dignitas SA. One had Motor Neuron disease while the other had developed ‘locked-in’ syndrome.

“Fast forward again to 2023 where he is ‘helping’ a physically healthy 59 year old man, suffering from anxiety and depression, to end his life. Where does it end? How influential was this man’s obsession with making Euthanasia legal worldwide in causing my Uncle’s untimely death?”

“While Jay’s letter was full of ‘praise’ for both Exit International and Pegasus in Switzerland, our experience as his family left a lot to be desired. Following that initial phone call on Sunday 1st October, it was a further 2 days before Sean Davison returned a call made by Jay’s sister to answer further questions about his death.”

She said that questions which remain unanswered include:

“1) How Jay travelled to Switzerland?

2) How much was paid to Exit International and specifically Sean Davison for the services provided?

3) What paperwork was required to ‘prove’ that Jay was of ‘sound’ mind?

4) Why did Jay body lay in a morgue for 5 days before cremation?

5) When would the phone call have been made to the family had my cousin not found the phone number and contacted Sean Davison directly?”

She said that, adding insult to injury, the family were assured during the first phone call with Davidson that Jay’s ashes would be delivered to his sister’s house within a week. However, ten days passed without any sign of the ashes. Jay’s sister than had to email Pegasus as there was no phone number available to contact them. 

“When they replied to her query she was told that it was standard that ashes would not be received until 2-3 weeks after the death as all paperwork was gathered and everything sent as a single ‘package’. This was her brother’s ashes they were talking about, not an Amazon delivery,” Ms McGuire penned.

“As the family had Jay’s funeral mass planned for Sunday 15th October, Pegasus said they would make an ‘exception to protocol’ and send his ashes immediately. His ashes were finally received by his family on Sat 14th October, 18 days after his death.”

On Sunday 15th October, to the family’s relief, Jay’s family were finally able to gather to grieve his death.

 “Due to his cremation, there was no wake but the celebration of mass with his ashes and being able to bury him with his parents were itself hugely healing,” she said.

‘HOW CAN JAY’S DEATH PROPEL US TO FIGHT FOR LIFE?’

“His many friends and extended family spent the day together remembering the Jay who we had known all our lives: fun, generous, kind, loving, a wonderful brother, uncle and granduncle, friend, colleague and golf buddy.”

 “As I mentioned earlier, speculation is inevitable, as is guilt, anger and a myriad of other emotions,” she continued, as she detailed the unanswered questions left for the family.

“Could we have done more? What if he hadn’t become a member of Exit International? What if he had spoken to those who loved him instead of crusading strangers? How will this affect other vulnerable members of our family? Why?”

However, she said, the “most pertinent in my mind today is this question: How can Jay’s death propel us to fight for life?”

“To fight against the culture of death which has become so pervasive in today’s society. I have no doubt we are facing an uphill battle but I am committing today to convince the citizens of Ireland that ‘Assisted Dying’ is not the answer to the suffering….yes, invest in Palliative Care to help humans die with dignity but please don’t inflict the suffering that we have suffered on any more families.

“May Jay Rest in Peace.”

During this week’s Committee meeting, Ms Maguire added that she had heard the argument regarding personal choice and assisted dying, but said, “There is a wider context to that person.”

“That person was loved. I believe that they were influenced, and as a result of that influence, completely left their loved ones out of this process.”

She pointed out how her family was “left out”, stating, “There was no contact. Everything was done outside of his family’s knowledge.”