Come March, Ireland will go to the polls to vote in a referendum seeking to expand the definition of the family. Voters are asked to amend Article 41. 1.1, which recognises the family “as the natural primary and fundamental unit group of society.”
The government’s proposals seek to amend the wording in the constitution to: “The State recognises the Family, whether founded on marriage or founded on other durable relationships, as the natural primary and fundamental unit group of Society.”
The government is also proposing the deletion of a separate provision, which affirms that the “Family is founded” on the “Institution of Marriage.”
If the referendum passes, we will effectively be watering down the recognition given to marriage as the foundation of the family and society in the Constitution. In my opinion, that amounts to downgrading marriage. It’s certainly a step away from recognising that marriage should be embraced as a bedrock of a stable and functioning society, and good news for individuals, families and communities.
The referendums coming up in just two months’ time are being portrayed as straightforward, common-sense based proposals which are long overdue, and which shouldn’t require much though – heaven forbid we’d have an actual debate.
To go against expanding the definition of family beyond the one built on marriage would be to cement your status as an outdated, narrow-minded bigot, in the eyes of the people who now decide such things. That much is clear from the conversation so far.
Speaking before the Dail last month, for instance, Minister O’Gorman said the Bills were about updating the Constitution to reflect the “values of a modern, inclusive Ireland.”
“Words are important,” he urged – or pontificated, you could say – adding: “They have real legal meaning. They speak to our values as a country, and right now, the words of Article 41 of the Constitution do not match our values.”
Mr O’Gorman went on to say that both referendums, the one on the family, and the one on women in the home (to be held on the same day) would give Ireland the chance to “reflect the continuation of our journey towards a more compassionate, inclusive and equal society” while building on previous reforms to the constitution – referencing the marriage referendum in 2015.
I will admit I find it curious that such importance was placed on the bedrock of marriage by our government and campaigning class in 2015, when they sought to ensure gay marriage was legalised. Yet now, less than a decade on, marriage suddenly appears much less important in the eyes of our chattering classes.
O’Gorman went on to tell his fellow TDs that he was thankful that “outdated views no longer hold sway” asserting, “This referendum presents an opportunity to put things right” in terms of what he described as the “discrimination” faced by single parent families or unmarried couples in the past.
“The reality is that the marital family is not the only kind of family that exists in Ireland, and it never was,” he said, also telling the House that a vote in favour of the referendum on marriage and the family would “reinforce the family values that our society holds dear.”
Family values? In Ireland? Really? It’s an interesting turn of phrase, because to anyone who has been paying attention, our government leaders seems to have shown little interest in protecting the family unit. We have a system which is geared towards the individual, and which is anything but conducive to supporting people to have children. It has become more and more difficult for young people in this country to get married and raise families – evidenced in our falling marriage rate, people getting married later, having fewer babies, and more divorce.
You may recall a report from 2018 which predicted that Ireland’s marriage rate would drop to a record low by 2030. The Euromonitor International report foresaw a decline from 4.9 marriages per 1,000 in 2017, to the lowest ever rate of four per 1,000 by 2030 – which would be 60 per cent lower than the rate of 6.4 seen in 1980. It also predicted that people would wait until they were older to tie the knot, predicting an average age at first marriage for men of 32.4 years, and 31.2 years for women.
The latest CSO figures go some way in confirming those predictions – showing that the average age had climbed to 35.4 for brides and 37.4 for grooms in 2022. That’s a steak comparison from 1973, when the average age of grooms was 27.2 years, while it was 24.8 years for brides. Ireland has gone from having a marriage rate of 6.4 per 1,000 in 1980 to 4.5 in 2022, and while marriage rates saw a bumper 2022 because of many postponed Covid weddings finally being held, the marriage rate in Ireland has fallen by almost half, (one of the worst in Europe) according to the Marriage Foundation, an organisation which promotes the value of marriage.
Recent CSO figures show that the percentage of births outside of marriage or civil partnerships is on the increase, while the number of births registered in Ireland per year has fallen by a fifth in the last decade alone. The number of one parent families is growing, with the 2022 census figures recording 182,395 one-parent families living in private households across the country, 155,583 of which were mothers and their children.
While government ministers such as Roderic O’Gorman insist that expanding the definition of the family to include “marriage and other durable relationships” would honour single parents, the truth is that life in Ireland for one-parent families has often not been assisted by government policies, and it is no secret that those who are married are statistically financially better off.
An effort is being made to put single parenthood on a power with marriage, but the truth is that the data strongly suggest that one parent families here are particularly dependent on social welfare and government supports, and often struggle hugely because of the crippling cost of living in this country and public services which are insufficient.
Statistics published by the Parliamentary Budget Office of the Oireachtas in September, for instance, showed that Irish one-parent households had an average income of €23,028. Ireland came a depressing 27th place in a list of EU member states when it came to purchasing power for one-parent homes – which were below both the EU and eurozone averages. Health, housing, the exorbitant cost of childcare and high VAT, means that an increasing number of single-parent households are increasingly reliant on government supports to stay out of poverty.
Yet where are the government programmes promoting marriage – or holding it up as an ideal which benefits children and society.
While marriage doesn’t seem to be much admired by our government – as the upcoming referendum so clearly demonstrates – there is simply no denying that the data shows time and time again that marriage is the big social divide. While marriage rates have been steadily collapsing in many countries across the west, there remains a mountain of evidence that having married parents in a lasting union is the best guarantee of welfare and wealth.
We would do well to note that while many of our politicians sitting in the Dail like to trendily decry the institution, to gain brownie points from the most radical of progressives and feminists, and will talk at length about the need to embrace “changing family structures” – the truth is that the vast majority embrace marriage in their own private lives, while bashing it in their public one. That’s an inconvenient truth we don’t hear discusssed very often.
There’s also reams of important data which we probably feel more comfortable to ignore when it comes to children born outside of marriage. While this used to be taboo, 38.4% of children in Ireland are now born out of wedlock according to EuroStat – a huge climb from 8.5% just three decades ago.
We should be thankful that stigma has been erased, and it goes without saying that women should be empowered to have their children when they fall pregnant in less than ideal circumstances – though this is not currently happening, as can be seen from our startling abortion rate. But this does not take away from the fact the data on single parent households – and the impact on children – must not be ignored.
The government looks hell-bent on giving marriage a downgrade, yet there are obvious benefits of having two parents in a committed and stable relationship, preferably marriage. A study from YouGov, to take just one example from the UK, shows that children in one-parent families are 75% more likely to fail at school; 70% more likely to have a drug problem; 50% more likely to have an alcohol problem; and 35% more likely to experience unemployment or welfare dependency. Those figures are stark, and uncomfortable, but we do need to talk about them.
Here’s an idea which seems to have escaped our political class: Maybe it’s not actually a good idea to diminish marriage and ignore the reality that it best serves society? Maybe it’s possible that the answer is more marriage?
Children do better when raised in the union of marriage, and married families are typically more stable, and require fewer benefits. More marriages means less family breakdown, and lower welfare bills – but most of all, it means a more secure society.
THE BEST PREDICTOR OF HAPPINESS?
There is an attempt to paint marriage as nothing more than a piece of paper. Yet, when we observe the effects marriage has on people, it is clear that it has a positive effect on our society. Not only are those who are married statistically wealthier, but they also have higher rates of happiness and fulfilment, compared to those who are single, divorced, or cohabiting, multiple studies show – including this one from the University of Chicago.
Men, for instance, are particularly shown to live healthier lives after getting married, and have lower rates of mental illness. With data showing there is as much as a 30 percentage-point happiness divide between the married and unmarried, could marriage truly be the best predictor of happiness?
There is also something to be said for the beauty of marriage in a world which seems to be becoming lonelier. There is a stark contrast to be found in the casual nature of cohabitation, for example, and the public, life-long commitment that is marriage, where you pledge to give yourself 100 per cent to another person. Many people look willing to reject marriage – but the truth is that monogamous, life-long marriages remain key to making people the happiest and the healthiest.
If you are blessed to build a beautiful family with that person, marriage is a good vision – because it ensures the family is based on love and respect, and that children will be secure in the love of a married mother and father.
Encouraging, rather than disparaging marriage, is the approach which has worked wonders for Hungary’s marriage rate, which has become something of a marriage super-power in recent years. Figures from the Marriage Foundation show that the country’s marriage rate has skyrocketed by 92 per cent in the last decade, jumping from 28th in Europe to being in first place. Marriage rates fell in every country in 2020, the first year of Covid lockdowns, except one – Hungary – where marriages actually increased by 3%.
Hungary’s embrace of marriage stands in sharp contrast with the rest of Europe – where marriage rates have fallen in every country except in the Baltic states of Estonia and Latvia. Ireland joins Italy and Portugal, according to the Marriage Foundation, in seeing the biggest falls, and where marriage rates have alarmingly fallen by more than half, including falls due to Covid lockdowns.
Hungary’s vastly different situation is the result of a decade of family friendly policies which have aimed primarily at increasing the birth rates. While the country’s policies support all family types, some give specific advantages to couples who are married – for example, some subsidised government loans can be deferred or waived completely for those who have up to three children, but only if the parents are married.
In Hungary, marriage matters and the message from the government is that it is valued. The results of projecting this message have been huge, and show that political support for marriage, along with financial incentives, go a long way.
It makes no sense to me that our government and our society seem increasingly disparaging of the cultural benefits of marriage. We have an unfolding, silent crisis when it comes to family and societal breakdown, and its dire implications for children, yet our government seems actively interested in creating more of the same, in the name of inclusion, rather than adopting a common sense approach.
I remain a firm believer, as the referendum in March approaches, that we need to boost marriage, not diminish it further.