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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a pub in Temple Bar. The barman says “If there’s any jokes pertaining to your nationalities which will obviously be racist I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Now if you can just show me your city centre permits proving you arrived here via approved government carbon neutral travel I can serve you.” After presenting their permits the gentlemen each pay €27 for a non-alcoholic vegan beer and settle down for a night of traditional African music.
The year is 2030 and after The Green Party and PBP coalition won a surprise landslide in the 2025 election Dublin City Centre is now a much different place than it was only a decade before.
While this dystopian view of Ireland’s near future may be ridiculed by some, what certainly may cause it to happen is the failure of today’s Irish comedians to ridicule those in power who are pushing us towards Paul Murphy’s idea of a utopia. One could try to get inside his head to figure out what that precisely looked like but one would be afraid of getting lost.
Comedy is not in a great place at the moment, and Irish comedy in particular is falling apart at the seems. Long gone are the heady days of Father Ted, even longer the days of the great Dave Allen. We have a rich history in comedy and have probably punched above our weight, but no longer. Today we seem to produce the never ending set of drones whose punchlines all end in “Isn’t Trump such a racist” or “Boooo The Brits”, and who fail to satisfy our comedy appetite with even a single joke about how their genderfluid pink cat wouldn’t eat fish because it knew the harm we were doing to the oceans.
We need to be saved from woke comedians. And to learn again not to fear any backlash from the bullies and the Mary Whitehouses of today. (For the kids among you Mary Whitehouse was a lady in the 1970s and 80s who loathed young people’s minds being corrupted with such “filth” as Chuck Berry’s song My Ding-a-Ling and Doctor Who. Our own Dave Allen was branded “offensive, indecent, and embarrassing”.)
Back then she was relentlessly made fun of by comedians.. Today her equivalent would likely be made Minister for Education in Ireland and probably even end up President.
Where are the comedians today poking fun at our own Dear Leader, El Presidente Higgins, with his 283 pensions? Unfortunately anything which may be deemed to paint El Presidente in an unfavourable light is verboten, as are any jokes about anything our progressive betters think is great. We don’t really have comedians any more, we have preachers and no preacher has ever made me laugh. Well apart from the one priest when I was an altar boy who finished Mass in 11 minutes because he couldn’t wait to get to the pub.
In England a fantastic new concept has appeared to allow comedians to say what they really feel, and to not cancel them over making fun of one of the untouchable subjects our betters like to protect. All they have to do is be funny.
It’s called Comedy Unleashed and it was the brainchild of two English comedians, Andrew Doyle and Andy Shaw, and has been running now for about 7 years. Their aim was to stop comedians from self-censoring, something that far too many genuinely funny people had been doing due to the fear of a backlash from the woke glitterati. From the horses mouth, they “encourage new and up-and-coming comedians to try out new stuff. The current comedy circuit schools emerging comedians into a safe, tramline orthodoxy. Real talent is being wasted. Comedians need an audience which is open-minded to test out ideas without the fear of being misunderstood and labelled”.
Now they want to put on a Comedy Unleased night in Dublin. But that’s not as easy as you think. Because the Irish comedy circuit is run by people who would make Sister Mary Stigmata seem reasonable we need your help with 2 things – 1) a friendly venue for the event. Comedy Unleashed have had venues cancel on them in the past when confronted with the woke mob, so we need a venue that holds 2-300 people and aren’t afraid of a few loons shouting at them and 2) we need some comedians who want to perform. Actual comedians. You know the ones who make people laugh. So if you’re an Irish comedian, or know one, who wants to perform without the venue complaining or people in the crowd shouting you down then please get in touch.
Oh yeah, and did I mention that our very own Graham Linehan has shown interest in performing on the night. Let’s make this happen, together we can be funny again.
Email us at ComedyUnleashedIreland@outlook.com with venues, comedians, offers of money, anything you want.
– Gareth Soye
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