Two parents from a secondary school in Cork have told Gript they feel there is “no real opt out” from the newly SPHE lessons, which they feel are too explicit and contain unscientific gender ideology. The parents have spoken of the difficulties they have faced in withdrawing their children from the classes just weeks into the new school term.
One mother said her daughter is on the autistic spectrum, and she fears children like her daughter are more likely to experience gender confusion after being exposed to gender ideology in schools. She says the school are making it “impossible” to opt her daughter out of the lessons.
The Department of Education has insisted that it is up to schools to uphold the right of parents to withdraw children from lessons which are contrary to their beliefs.
The two parents, who did not wish to be named, both have children at St. Mary’s Secondary School in Macroom in Cork. The two women told Gript that they have faced major obstacles since requesting that their children be withdrawn from SPHE classes at the school.
Thousands of parents have packed out meetings in Dublin and elsewhere in recent months expressing concerns that the new sex-education curriculum is teaching children “unscientific” ideology on gender – that sex is ‘assigned’ and that gender can be fluid – and that the new course is sexualising children when they are in their early teens.
The parents at St Mary’s in Macroom who spoke to Gript say they are having difficulties in removing their children from SPHE classes despite assurances from Education Minister Norma Foley that parents would have the right to remove their children from classes if they had objections to the content of updated sex education programmes for both primary and second level – which has sparked extensive debate across the country.
In February the Irish Times reported Minister Foley has having said:
“I want to be clear around this: we operate in our schools a spirit of partnership with our parents, the wider section of stakeholders and partners within education. We retain within our schools parental consent at all times for parents to feel that they have freedom to withdraw their students from anything that is happening within a school environment.
That promise came in the midst of broad-based division around the content of the updated sex education curriculum, prompting parents’ and advocacy groups. There have been repeated protests around the issue in recent months, while groups say that thousands of parents have sent opt-out letters to their schools’ board of management.
The National Council for Curriculum and Assessment (NCCA) published the updated Social Personal and Health Education (SPHE) curriculum for Junior Cycle students in May, with the course now available for first year pupils who entered secondary school this month. The process of adapting Primary and Senior Cycle SPHE began in late 2022, with a draft senior cycle curriculum document set to be available for public consultation in late 2023.
Post-primaries are now expected to provide one hour a week of these lessons, which will cover health and wellbeing, relationships and sexuality and “into adulthood.” According to the NCCA, the relationships and sexuality lessons will teach pupils about “nurturing respectful, caring and healthy relationships”.
Students are to be taught that Gender is socially and culturally constructed, and about pornography. Some educators have argued that use of porn should not be ‘stigmatised’ and mostly did ‘no harm’.
The 2023 updated Junior Cycle SPHE course provides 100 hours of learning – an increase from 70 hours – over the three years of junior cycle.
The first parent we spoke says the first two weeks of her child’s first year at secondary school was made really difficult by what she says is the school’s failure to listen to her objections as a parent.
She says her concerns stem from the family’s Catholic faith – she points out that her child attends a Catholic school – and that she does not agree with the “explicit” sexual material and gender ideology included in the classes.
‘MY DAUGHTER IS ON THE SPECTRUM’
The parent added that she feels she has cause to be concerned as her daughter has autism – which she fears will heighten the impact of the classes.
“My daughter has just turned thirteen, and she is also on the autistic spectrum. We’re especially concerned, because I believe these children are more likely to become gender confused in terms of being influenced by this ideology,” the concerned parent told Gript.
As reported by John McGhioinn, a recently published study carried out by researchers at Vanderbilt University Medical Center, an independent, non-profit based in Nashville, Tennessee, sheds some much needed light on the troubling association. The study, the first of its kind to use both self-reports and parent reports to dissect the relationship between gender identity and autism spectrum disorder (ASD), identified a strong association between the neurodevelopmental condition and gender dysphoria.
The authors noted that results “showed that autistic children endorsed much higher rates of Binary Gender Diversity (less identification with their designated sex and more with the other binary sex) and Nonbinary Gender Diversity (identification as neither male nor female) than typically developing children”.
Last October, an audit performed on the HSE’s National Gender Service found that there had been an increase in the number of people attending their service because of confusion with gender who also had Autistic Spectrum Disorder. Up to 90 per cent of those who used the public service “may have been autistic,” according to the audit.
She says that she sent a letter to the school prior to her child starting first year, after hearing about what would be included in the new SPHE classes.
“In February last year, after my daughter got accepted into the school, this issue was on my mind. In June, I started the opting out process which we were told would be allowed, by sending a letter to the school. In August, the school came back to me, stating that yes, she could opt out, but she would have to be in the classroom when the lessons were being taught. I then emailed the school saying this was not acceptable,” the parent told Gript.
‘IT FEELS LIKE THEY’RE TRYING TO MAKE THE OPT-OUT SO IMPRACTICAL THAT I’LL GIVE UP’
“They responded by saying that I could collect her from the lessons, and they sent me the timetable. I told them that wasn’t acceptable, and that the school had to facilitate her, but they said no.
“She started school two hours late, at twenty past ten, on the first Monday she was there because the SPHE class was the first two periods, because we felt that was the only option.
“We’ve had to opt her out on other days, meaning she is missing core subjects because of this. It has caused a lot of hassle, there have been wobbles – and I admit I had a cry over this earlier – but this is not just about my child; this is about every child out there. I want to keep fighting this, and ensuring there is a feasible opt-out, and I know other parents feel the same.”
She added: “They are trying to make the opt-out so impractical that I won’t do it and I’ll give up. It has been hard and upsetting as a parent to have to deal with this. My friend has got a solicitor to write a letter to the school, stating that my child will not be collected, and that suitable arrangements must be made by the school.”
“For me, the school’s job is to deliver the core subjects. But from what I can see, teachers are now becoming the parents, with such a focus on well-being and personal development – meaning there is less time for the core subjects, and for real education,” she added.
She told us she wishes she could “take the emotion of being a mother” out of the situation, and is deeply worried about how the situation is impacting her child. She doesn’t want her to feel excluded or different from other children, having just started at the school – but says her main priority remains protecting her child from content she believes will be detrimental.
The parent says she has been told that the only way to remove her child from the classes is to take her out of school whenever the classes are on. This, she says, is not a practical solution – for mother or child.
“A school official offered to have the teacher giving the SPHE lessons talk to me prior to each lesson, to discuss what was being taught each class. It sounds really reasonable, but it isn’t at all realistic or practical. I’ve been told I’ll have to take my child out somewhere when the subjects I don’t agree with are being discussed. It isn’t practical for her, or for me, emotionally.
“And building friendships is what my daughter is all about in school. How is she going to do that? This would really highlight her being different. To say, ‘You can go to the class one week, but I’ll have to take you out for another lesson’ is just not fair. For me, this amounts to segregation.”
In response, a spokesperson for the Department of Education told Gript that it “does not have the power” to instruct schools to follow a particular course of action in the situation where a parent wants their child to be withdrawn from lessons. It said the right to withdraw children from any subject which is contrary to the conscience of the parent was to be determined by the school, and not by the Department.
“Access to sexual and health education is an important right for students. Schools have a responsibility to provide for this, in consultation with parents. Social, Personal and Health Education (SPHE) is a mandatory curriculum subject in all primary schools and in post-primary junior cycle. Relationships and Sexuality Education (or RSE) is required at all levels, from primary through to senior cycle. Access to sexual and health education is an important right for students,” a spokesperson for the Department of Education said.
“Schools have a responsibility to provide for this, in consultation with parents. Social, Personal and Health Education (SPHE) is a mandatory curriculum subject in all primary schools and in post-primary junior cycle. Relationships and Sexuality Education (or RSE) is required at all levels, from primary through to senior cycle,” the Department added.
‘RIGHT TO WITHDRAW CHILDREN SHOULD BE UPHELD BY SCHOOLS’
The Department acknowledged that parents “have the right to have their children” attend school without attending a subject which did not align with the conscience of the parent.
However, asked whether it would provide more resources for schools to respond to a situation where parents wanted children removed from classes – meaning cover would have to be arranged – the Department said the school “must determine the particular arrangements which are most appropriate.” It said it expected that right to be upheld by schools.
“In accordance with Section 30 of the Education Act, 1998, parents have a right to have their children attend school without attending instruction in any subject which is contrary to the conscience of the parent. It is expected that this right be upheld by schools on foot of a parental request.
“The manner in which any school ensures that this right is upheld is a matter for the school concerned. The school must determine the particular arrangements which are most appropriate in its individual circumstances having regard to local issues such as available space, supervision requirements and how the school concerned organises classes etc.
“The Department does not have the power to instruct schools to follow a particular course of direction with regard to individual complaint cases. The Department’s role is to clarify for parents and students how their grievances and complaints against schools can be progressed.
“A school may have a formal complaints process, in which case this should be followed in pursuing any complaint. Where a person is of the view that a school’s Board of Management has failed to investigate or adequately investigate their complaint, it is open to them to raise the matter directly with the Chairperson of the Board of Management.
“The Office of the Ombudsman for Children may independently investigate complaints about schools recognised by the Department of Education, provided the parent has firstly and fully followed the school’s complaints procedures. The key criterion for any intervention by the Ombudsman for Children is that the administrative actions or non-actions of a school has, or, may have, adversely affected the child,” it added.
Meanwhile, the school in question has not responded to requests for comment.
Another parent, who also has a child in first year at the same post-primary school in Macroom, claims she has also been unable to withdraw her daughter from lessons. The second parent we spoke to, who also did not wish to be named, said that her child is being told to attend SPHE classes every week despite the school being put on notice that it is against her wishes. She too sent a letter, prior to the start of term, highlighting her objections.
Both parents say that while they have been told that schools are responsible for a lack of facilities and resources to facilitate opt-outs, it feels as though “the buck is being passed” – with neither the school nor the department willing to take responsibility for the situation.
‘I INSISTED I DIDN’T WANT HER GOING TO SPHE CLASSES’
“I sent in a letter by registered post to the school, saying that I did not want my child to be taught gender ideology. After that, the school contacted me to say that if my daughter was in the school, she would have to go in. I insisted these were my wishes – that I didn’t want her going in.
“Following that, I handed in another notice. I registered another notice, and a school official rang me to say that there would be nobody to take care of her and she would have to go into the class. I said I didn’t want to talk to talk on the phone, unless everything was documented. I insisted I didn’t want her going to the SPHE class.
“I emailed the school about it again, asking if they had read the letter. But she was put into the class. When the SPHE class was on, she was walking down with a friend, and she told her friend, ‘I’m not meant to go into this class,’ but her friend just advised her, ‘Just go in and the teacher will sort it,’ but she went in, and nothing was done, even though I have voiced my wishes repeatedly.
‘YOU HAVE TO GO INTO THAT CLASS IF YOU’RE HERE’
“The second time she had this class, her buddy told the teacher she was not meant to be in the class – and she was sent to another teacher, who sent her to the principal. She was told, ‘You have to go into that class if you’re here.’
“I was going to take her out for this week’s class. I just feel I’m really stuck, because I don’t feel like they are listening. They don’t seem to care,” the audibly upset mother said.
“My daughter has told them she is not meant to be in the class, and they have still put her in there. I don’t know what we are supposed to do. The school told me if I wanted her out, I would have to collect her, but that’s ridiculous. I live miles away from the school. And not only that, she shouldn’t have to be taken out of school. She did try to go down to the library during one of the lessons, but they insisted she couldn’t. I asked if she could go to the library, or the canteen, or another class, but that wasn’t possible.
“They want every child to be indoctrinated with this ideology. It’s just crazy. I think there is a huge problem with this curriculum. Telling children about gay sex, straight sex, in such detail at this age, I believe that it would be very psychologically damaging to have to sit with their peers and listen to all of this, and try not to look shocked. We have seen the reading list, and the books that are there, and it defies my belief that such overtly sexual content is going to be taught to children.”
‘THIS IDEOLOGY IS BEING PUSHED’
“For me, I am concerned that once these ideas will be in children’s heads, they are going to be far more likely to act on these ideas. It’s very worrying for us as parents. And my child is being sent into these classes with my objection, and me saying, ‘No way is she going in here.’
“I really did think that after putting the whole school on notice – telling them these were our family constitutional rights – that this wouldn’t be a problem. The school is on notice, but it seems as though they think they can’t be touched. I have told them my child is not going into these classes. It seems to me that the mentality is that when she is at school, the school will simply do what they like.”
“This seems to be what teachers need to do to keep their jobs. They may sound sympathetic, but at the same time, this ideology is being pushed. These teachers know my child is not meant to be in these classes, and yet it is insisted upon that she has to be there.
“My child has four of these classes a week. I was shocked. I couldn’t believe it when I saw it. The craziest part of this is how a school can think it’s ok to go against a mother’s wishes, which have been repeatedly documented. I just don’t know what to do. Should I send her in, should I back down? Would backing down be the wrong thing? Should I just keep going? I just don’t know what to do.”
The claims from parents appear to validate concerns voiced by parents, and activists, and politicians – including Aontú leader Peadar Tóibín. Speaking in July, he said parents are in danger of being forced into sending children to classes on issues such as transgenderism against their will.
The Meath West TD was responding to what he called a ‘bizarre’ response by Education Minister Norma Foley to his queries on how she will manage objections to content in the new SPHE curriculum.
“The plan has to support children who may feel othered because they will be removed from classes that teach gender identity ideology,” he said in a message to Norma Foley.
He asked Minister Foley how planned to “provide alternative teaching for children who are removed from these classes to ensure they do not receive less education”.
His comments came after Minister Foley, in response to unease around the curriculum, suggested little beyond the prospect of the National Educational Psychological Service (NEPS) being involved in such scenarios.
“I want an education system that is inclusive for everyone and which respects diversity,” Mr Tóibín said:
“In this regard, what our children are being taught is a matter of serious concern for growing numbers of parents.
“The curriculum is going down an ideological route that is not based on science.’ He warned of planned new changes to the lifestyle curriculum, saying: ‘Many parents will not want children to attend. The practical result of this is that many children and parents will feel excluded.”
The two parents we spoke to told Gript their efforts to ensure a practical opt-out for their children are ongoing, and that while they remain unsure about what to do, they hope that facilities will be found for their children so they can be opted out of the lessons.