Well, if you’ve ever watched Braveheart, you already knew he was an all-around bad egg, so in fairness, he probably was a racist as well, right?

These people certainly think so:

Robert the Bruce died on June 7th, 1329, 691 years ago last Sunday, so unfortunately it’s probably not going to be possible to interrogate him, in this life, at least, about his views on white privilege. We’re just going to have to add that to the list of questions that John is looking forward to asking of historical figures in the afterlife, if there is one. We’ll add it in between asking Cleopatra why she thought death by snake would be quick and painless, and how she felt when she found out she was wrong, and asking Genghis Khan what the point of having an empire that big was when you couldn’t effectively get word of a new law from one end of it to the other.

The truth is, of course, that it doesn’t really matter what Robert the Bruce thought of questions of racial equality. His sin isn’t racism, his sin is being an old white dude who’s on a statue, and is therefore probably a racist. That’s the level of thought we’re dealing with.

It does pose a question though of where this ends? A couple of days ago we were mocked for suggesting that the Roman Colloseum might have to go, but if we’re going back 700 years to denounce racists (and we don’t even know whether the charge is accurate in the case of the Bruce) then why not go back a bit further to knobble some confirmed racists, like the Romans?

In London, meanwhile, they’ve decided to defend the statue of Winston Churchill, by, well, hiding it:

Like or loathe the old rogue, two years ago he was voted the greatest ever Briton. Today? He’s been boarded up in a cage for his own safety.

What’s happening here is madness, and everyone knows it’s madness. The scary thing isn’t that a mob of lunatics want to tear down every statue. The scary thing is the way they’re being indulged by a political centre that’s forgotten how to stand up to them.