There are few spectator sports I like more than watching the rise and rise of The Media Darling. The Media Darling can come in many forms but they are usually female and often ethnic minorities. I don’t think The Media Darling is an outright conspiracy. An actual conspiracy is not necessary.
What is necessary is that all the editors of the main newspapers and producers of all the TV shows think the same things about almost everything. Which they do. They think diversity is our strength, immigration is always and everywhere good, right – wing people are bad, and women’s football is top notch. Media darlings can often be other journalists in the media, which means you are running a cabal. The editor of Vogue will publish a puff piece on the presenter of the Today programme and so on and so forth. The old girls network is really a fantastic addition to the old boys network.
I have more experience with the British media and their choice of Media Darlings. For a while there it was the baker Nadiya Hussain. Goodness they just couldn’t get enough of her, she was awarded an MBE for cupcakes, or something. Ms Hussain was a stay-at-home mother with a hot husband who liked to bake. She rose to fame after winning the sixth series of BBC’s The Great British Bake Off in 2015. Since winning, she has signed contracts with the BBC to host the documentary The Chronicles of Nadiya and TV cookery series Nadiya’s British Food Adventure and Nadiya’s Family Favourites; co-presented The Big Family Cooking Showdown; and has become a regular contributor on The One Show.
Hussain is a columnist for The Times Magazine and has signed publishing deals with Penguin Random House, Hodder Children’s Books and Harlequin. She has appeared as a guest panelist on ITV’s Loose Women. She was invited to bake a cake for the 90th birthday celebrations of Elizabeth II. That is top level British Media Darling.
I can tell you now if her name was Victoria Smith from the Home Counties with little Elizabeth and Henry married to a banker in the city, she would not be on Bake Off and all that followed. That’s not how the BBC rolls. But Nadia was a one woman advertisement for the whole diversity is our strength fandango, she knew where the cinnamon went and is therefore never off my TV.
Other media darlings are Laura Kuenssberg, presenter and journalist at BBC. She is a Girl Boss kind of lady. She is very competent, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not sure all her mates in other parts of the media need to give her even more PR than she currently has. The current Media Darling is Emma Barnett. She’s everywhere talking about IVF or early menopause. She presents the flagship Today programme on Radio 4 in the morning so again the extra PR is just not necessary.
The current Media Darling for the Irish media I notice is Social Democrat leader Holly Cairns. They just cannot get enough of her. The explosion of Ms Cairns onto my TV screen and Twitter feed came right after Simon Harris said immigration numbers are too high. I am sure the big push for Holly Cairns so soon after this dastardly statement is just a coincidence. I am sure if Ms Cairns said immigration numbers were too high or that Nigel Farage was just the bee’s knees and actually if she had her way she would deport all failed asylum seekers pronto she would get just as much coverage.
Ms Cairns ticks all the right boxes, she is what the ‘media trainer’ dreams about at night. Not in a sexual way – I’m not implying that as I don’t want to get sued. But trust me, she ticks all the right boxes.
She is a young mother which means you can roll her out for all the ‘politics with a young baby is tough’ puff pieces, which the Irish Times promptly did this weekend. Ms Cairns also has absolutely fabulous hair, so when she speaks in the Dail slamming ‘right – wing narratives’ they play well on Twitter. God what I’d do for hair like that. As I stare doe – eyed at the Social Democrat twitter feed I just get distracted and ask what conditioner does that women use?
You can imagine my surprise when I saw her pop up on The Late Late Show on Friday. You remember The Late Late Show, right from such tough talking as ‘this is Ireland and you can say whatever the fuck you want.’ This is true to an extent – unless what you are saying is ‘the immigration numbers are too high.’ You can say that but do expect a co – ordinated push back campaign from the Social Democrats, the editorial team the Irish Times and The Late Late Show.
Anyway Ms Cairns was on The Late Late Show on Friday – of course she was. And I tell you what the social media team had to change their underwear at the thought of her being on the show. (Did I really say that?)
This was the Tweet the folks at the Late Late Show sent out on Friday night.
The photo of them fawning and running their fingers through Ms Cairn’s hair was not available. Say what you want about the BBC, not even they would stoop this low and display their all-round adulation of an actual politician. The last time I checked our state funded media was supposed to hold power to account, not cream their jeans every time Holly Cairns walked into a building.
The Late Late Show will say, they are there to entertain. Then don’t have on politicians. They use this cosy format on purpose. Holly Cairns, is nice and cuddly, and here she is on our new nice and cuddly Late Late Show. Anyone who opposes Holly Cairns is an evil member of the far – right, who we would never invite onto the show in the first place.
Anyway, where was I. What justifies all this media attention? Holly Cairns, as well as having a killer blow dry, is leader of the Social Democrats who at the last election won 6 seats and 4.8% of the vote. Ivana Bacik who is leader of the Labour Party also got 6 seats and 4.7% of the vote. But she is not a media darling because, to put it bluntly, her hair is not swishy enough. Good politician though.
And there is old Michael Collins, leader of Independent Ireland. Michael Collins is, sadly for him, not the media trainer’s wet dream. This and the fact he probably does think the immigration numbers are too high is the reason why the Irish Times do not run puff pieces on him and the challenge of childcare. You will not see Michael Collins in the home section of the Irish section of the Sunday Times, because he’s Michael Collins and nobody cares what kind of marble he has for the kitchen island. In fact there is a good chance Michael Collins does not have a kitchen island which is unfortunate.
Independent Ireland has 3.6% of the vote which is not that much smaller than either the Social Dems or Labour but again you will not see him on The Late Late Show anytime soon. No one knows or cares what kind of conditioner Michael Collins uses in his hair. That’s the brutal truth.
Now Ken Flynn, he has definite media darling potential. That man has great hair but unless he starts talking in fluent Fintan O’Toole you won’t be seeing him on your telly box any time soon. Not even being gay is enough to get you on these days.
Only left wing people with great hair can be Media Darlings. That’s a little known, but always obeyed 11th Commandment.