For some reason, despite my being (in her telling) perhaps earth’s most annoying person to share a house with, Mrs. McGuirk has never yet felt the need to do what Brigitte Macron did yesterday to her husband, the President of France and Co-Prince of Andorra:
It would at face value be uncharitable and unchristian to draw wild conclusions about somebody’s relationship on the basis of one moment that was, clearly, not intended for the television cameras. However, it would also be naïve not to make the obvious point that had the gender roles been reversed here, and it were the French President laying hands on his wife in that manner, the incident would quickly become a controversy that would imperil his career and Presidency. For whatever reason, women still get away with this stuff in the public mind, to a degree that is (rightly) unimaginable for men.
Had Macron flung an angry hand in the general direction of Mrs. Macron’s face, there would by now be widespread speculation about whether domestic violence was a regular feature of their marriage. That, I think, is indisputable.
Tell you what, though: This spin from the Presidential Office could charitably be described as a token effort:
“A close associate of the president later described the incident as a couple’s harmless “squabble”.
Meanwhile, another member of Mr Macron’s entourage downplayed its significance by insisting it was a “moment of togetherness”.
“It was a moment when the president and his wife were decompressing one last time after a 16-hour journey before the start of the trip by joking around,” the source told reporters.
“It’s a moment of togetherness. No more was needed to feed the mills of the conspiracy theorists,” the source added, blaming pro-Russian accounts for negative comments about the incident.
“There was obviously no violent gesture between Emmanuel and Brigitte Macron. To say the opposite – based on a very partial, fleeting image, without sound and without context – is dishonest and shows a serious lack of understanding of them.”
Clearly, the issue here is not the “squabble”: The issue is that she attempted to slap him in the face, right as he was about to get off the Presidential plane and represent the French people overseas. Couples “squabble” all the time, but in most healthy relationships that does not lead to attempted or actual physical violence. If it does, you are probably – not certainly but very likely – in an unhealthy relationship.
That all said, life as a Presidential spouse cannot be easy, and it certainly has not been easy for Mrs. Macron, who is the subject of one of the world’s most insane conspiracy internet theories – the line peddled most prominently by prominent American professional crazy person Candace Owens that Mrs. Macron is actually a man. This “transgender” attack has been mounted with a sort of perverse evidence-free glee, just as it has been at Michelle Obama, the former American first lady and mother to two daughters.
The Macron marriage is unusual in many respects, most notably in that Mrs. Macron is 72 years old and her husband is just 47: She was 25 years old when he was born, and she met him when she was his teacher when he was a 15 year old student and she was a 39 year old mother of three children from a previous marriage, one of whom is the same age as her now husband.
To say that this is “not normal” would be to understate affairs: I have often wondered how the world would react to a French President who was a man, married to a woman who he met when he was 39 and she was his fifteen year old student. There would be much discussion, in those circumstances, I think, of the appropriateness of that relationship. And the word “grooming” and others like it would be liberally tossed around, with justification.
But instead – and I think primarily because of gender roles – the Macron marriage has always been considered something of a curiosity, and his enduring affection for a woman 25 years his senior whom he met as a child seen as a harmless and almost endearing peccadillo.
In these circumstances, I do not think that the slap heard around the world can be treated as just a harmless squabble between a couple, for the simple reason of sexism: Were Brigitte Macron actually a man (and she is not) this whole business would be viewed in a very different light: The vastly younger partner, subjected to violent behaviour, would be seen universally as a victim for whom an intervention might be needed.
The “victim” in this instance is the President of France, one of the world’s most powerful countries. It is legitimate and in the public interest (not simply the French public interest, given Macron’s power globally) to ask whether the French President is the victim in a controlling and abusive relationship. And further, to ask in those circumstances who is really governing France.
You do not have to draw conclusions in order to ask questions. In this case, given the footage seen around the world, the questions are suddenly more legitimate than ever.