No one has a right to have their iced, soya, caramel latte delivered to them by drone. Nor are you entitled to have your Big Mac, McSpicy x Frank’s Redhot chicken burger with large fries placed into your lap without you ever leaving your sofa via drone. It is not a breach of the UN Charter on Humans Rights to ask you to get off your fat arse and drive to the takeaway to get whatever is on the menu tonight.
When I saw John complaining that Social Democrat Ruth Coppinger TD was looking to restrict the use of drones in urban areas, I thought, typical. John also got angry at the prospect of losing his gin on tonic on his flight to Ibiza. He’s a regular freedom fighter.
Not since Martin Luther King marched through Selma after Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on the bus have I seen such a worthy fight, a noble cause, and a righteous campaign. Human rights activists of the world unite – we have nothing to lose but our double crusted, Pepperoni Passion Domino’s pizza! Seriously, pass the bucket. And I mean that literally, you’ll need it after that pizza.
Rather like the suit without a tie, the drone fast food delivery service is yet another symbol of the decadence and indeed rot at the heart of Western civilization.
The Irish Times “Opposition TDs highlighted the “dystopian future” Dublin and other cities faced because of the unregulated growth in the use of drones that are “not delivering blood or medicine. They’re delivering burgers and lattes for profit.”
Social Democrats TD Gary Gannon and Solidarity TD Ruth Coppinger warned of the growing noise disturbance and intrusion on privacy because of the failure to regulate the increased use of commercial drones across the north and west of Dublin for fast food deliveries.”
Both of our comrades are absolutely 100% right. People, including urban dwellers, are entitled to a reasonable level of peace and quiet. And don’t bother telling me – as John will who lives in the back of beyond will – that people should not live in city or urban areas if they don’t want to be disturbed. I am talking about a reasonable level of peace and quiet. We already inflict a huge amount of noise on ourselves. We do not need more, either in the form of drones or indeed padel tennis.
We urban folk must tolerate the cars, the zooming scooters, the children playing out (I like that noise), the lawnmowers, the strimmers, the power hose and all the rest of it. These are all noises generated more or less for the greater good – keeping one’s front garden nice and tidy, children getting fresh air and play which actually is a human right, travelling here and there via car. However there is no greater good in the air lift of the soya latte and chicken royale to your door. If the drones were bringing life saving medicines etc that would be different. But they are not. Do we see the distinction?
Mr Gannon TD called for a drone restriction zone to be created over Glasnevin which has been designated Ireland’s first autism friendly village. Mr Gannon said the autism friendly designation “carries responsibility to protect the sensory and the environmental stability the community relies upon. Unregulated drone activity threatens that stability”.
Look you don’t have to be autistic or indeed a socialist to understand why drone deliveries of fast food or indeed discretionary items as whole are unacceptable. You just have to have standards. You just have to want a base line of decency that means you do not ask your neighbour to put up with the relentless drone noise and the visual impact of these things swotting about your garden, not to mention the attack on your privacy all because someone down the road forgot to go shopping that week.
And this brings me to the next point. Our comrades won’t have a go at their constituents – but I will. Because this is not just the fault of the drone company or Deliveroo. It is also the fault of those who believe getting your dinner delivered by drone is an acceptable way to live. It isn’t. It is expensive and bad for your health. Previously that was just your problem. Now you are making it everyone else’s problem. Enough.
I remember being a child and going to the supermarket with my mother. I remember very clearly her counting out the notes – the cash by hand. This is what people used to do – mothers usually. They went to the supermarket, did the weekly shop, brought the food home and cooked for their family. The fact that some people cannot be bothered to do this anymore is not progress. It is barbarism.
So you can find me on the barricades with my new comrades Ms Coppinger TD and Mr Gannon TD – whether they like it or not. Not everything is inevitable. Not every new fandangled invention is for the greater good. My phone is old, I refuse to update it. And I don’t have one of those talky things where you tell the internet what to do. What’s her name? Alexa. And I go shopping or send my son on his bike to get the take – out. Call me old – fashioned, call me a socialist. I just call it basic decency.