Uncle Fianna Fail has found the keys to drinks cabinet again. He was on the wagon for years, swore he’d never touch another drop, was up bright and early each morning making breakfast for everyone, and things couldn’t get any rosier. So, one day, the people of Ireland handed Uncle FF the keys of the drinks cabinet because he needed a drop of sherry to make the trifle. Next thing you know, he’s got his trousers off and is directing traffic on O’Connell Bridge, before gravely molesting some nuns and then hurling bricks through the windows of the British embassy.
There are two defining features to this process. The first is that the Minister for Finance should have a comfortingly English name, such as Jack Hackett, who sounds just like a British trade union leader. though you’ll probably remember him as the alcoholic priest slumped in the corner of Father Ted’s parlour. Jack is the template and role-model for any worthwhile Fianna Fail Minister for Finance. The second is that the minister always promises nothing but good will come of his having a drop of sherry to put in the trifle. Then he’ll hang the little key back on the little hook, and all will be well.
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