Emmy Award-winning actor Shia LaBeouf has announced his conversion to Catholicism after playing St. Padre Pio in an upcoming film, saying he was suicidal before taking the part.
LaBeouf, who is famous for his roles in movies like Transformers, Fury, Indiana Jones and Holes, revealed the process of discovery he went through in an 80-minute interview with Catholic Bishop Robert Barron released this week.
“I had a gun on the table. I was outta here,” the 36-year-old actor said.
“I didn’t want to be alive anymore when all this happened. Shame like I had never experienced before. The kind of shame that you forget how to breathe. You don’t know where to go. You can’t go outside and get like, a taco.”
However, despite these dark feelings, he said that he still had a “deep desire to hold on.”
While he was going through this, as part of an upcoming Abel Ferrera film, LeBeouf was offered the opportunity to play St. Padre Pio – a famed 20th century Italian monk and priest.
Numerous miracles are associated with him by Catholics, including his reported bearing of the stigmata – the wounds associated with Christ’s crucifixion, holes in his hands and feet.
After becoming a much beloved figure in his native Italy and across the Catholic world, Padre Pio died in 1968 at the age of 81, before being canonised a saint by Pope John Paul II in 2002.
According to Director Abel Ferrara in an interview with Variety, the film will focus on the younger years of the Italian saint’s life.
Last year LeBeouf stayed a group of Catholic monks at a monastery to research for the role, and described the experience at the time as “heartwarming.”
Shia LeBeouf is to play Saint Padre Pio in an upcoming film. pic.twitter.com/ePwharA5NP
— Catholic Arena (@CatholicArena) August 16, 2021
“We’re trying to get as close to an accurate depiction of what it’s like to be a friar as possible,” he said last year.
“To get as close to the human, tangible, tactile relationship that this man had with Christ in bringing the Good News to the world. I’m completely immersed in something way bigger than myself.
“I don’t know if I’ve ever met a group of men as immersed in anything in my life. It’s super attractive to see people give themselves to something so divine, and it’s heartwarming to know that there’s a brotherhood like this that exists. I’ve been met with nothing but grace, and I’m so honoured to meet [these] guys.”
However, now, a year later, LeBeouf said that his main motivation for taking on the role initially was simply his career.
“I know now that God was using my ego to draw me to Him,” he said.
“Drawing me away from worldly desires. It was all happening simultaneously. But there would have been no impetus for me to get in my car, drive up [to the monastery] if I didn’t think, ‘Oh, I’m gonna save my career.”
The scandal-plagued actor also added that the Catholic faith’s emphasis on forgiveness greatly impacted him.
“It was seeing other people who have sinned beyond anything I could ever conceptualise also being found in Christ that made me feel like, ‘Oh, that gives me hope,’” he said.
“I started hearing experiences of other depraved people who had found their way in this, and it made me feel like I had permission.”
It has been described by some as a “comeback” role for LeBeouf, who has been embroiled in some significant scandals in recent years, including alcohol problems, theft, as well as abuse allegations towards his former girlfriend, which he denies.
Shia LaBeouf says alcohol nearly ruined his life https://t.co/cosozAMMsR #alcohol #alcademi
— AlCADEMI™ (@alcademi) September 8, 2016