In 2000, Mel Gibson asked the question on every man’s mind: What do women want? In the years since, Mad Max hasn’t answered the question, but it still remains.
What do women want? You can find plenty of Red Pill gurus who talk ad nauseam about the 6-6-6 Rule: In short, in order to grab the attention of an attractive female, a man must be 6′ tall; have a 6-figure income; have 6-pack abs.
That’s mostly a load of nonsense.
That’s not to say that women don’t want a tall guy in great shape, making a very healthy income. It’s to say that most women want guys with more accessible qualities. Like a sense of humor, for example.
Irish men aren’t renowned for tanned torsos and chiseled abs, but we are renowned for our ability to make others laugh. A sense of humor is sexy. Scientific studies clearly demonstrate this fact.
In a study conducted by Nicolas Guéguen, 60 young women between the ages of 20-26 were faced with a decision. They had to determine whether they would be persuaded by a young man who approached them in a bar and asked for their telephone number to go on a date at a later time. In one study, a reasonably attractive man had been joking with his friends and making them laugh before approaching the women; in another study, a reasonably attractive man had simply spoken with his mates, then approached the women after his friends left. The findings of the study revealed that women found the humorous man considerably more attractive.
In fact, the women were three times more likely to provide their phone number to the man who told jokes compared to the man who did not. Additionally, the humorous man was perceived as more attractive, intelligent, funny, and sociable. The influence of a genuine sense of humor on women’s attractions may be partially explained by the perception that funny individuals are more social and intelligent, qualities that women actively seek in a potential mate. Other studies show a strong association between humor – specifically dark humor, something the Irish excel at – and high levels of intelligence.
To be clear here, I am not just talking about hook-ups. I am talking about long-term relationships, the type of relationships that result in marriage. Recent studies have echoed the Frenchman’s findings. When evaluating men for long-term relationships, humor appears to be of particular importance for women. It makes sense. Although abs may be aesthetically appealing, a man with a nice body but the personality of a toaster is not exactly a keeper. A sense of humor is a sign of creativity, intelligence, and intellectual depth, qualities that can be passed onto children.
Now, of course, you can be the funniest man in the world, but if you are 35, living under a bridge, and drawing the dole, then don’t be surprised if you find yourself alone — for life. Women, like men, have standards.
As the psychologist Martin Graff has noted, sex differences in what men and women find attractive in an opposite sex partner have consistently demonstrated that men are more drawn to physically attractive women, while women tend to prefer men with wealth, power, and earning potential. The last point is key. A man must have potential. He must, at the very least, have the capacity to become something great. He must always be working towards bettering himself. This can come in many forms: getting fitter, learning a new skill, chasing a promotion at work, etc.
As Graff highlighted, women, more so than men, are willing to overlook physical unattractiveness in a partner — but only if they possess some level of wealth or earning potential. In Ireland, considering the cost of living has never been higher, it’s perfectly reasonable to seek out a partner who is financially sound, or at least someone who’s on the path to financial soundness.
Graff told me that “differences in what men look for in a female romantic partner and what women look for in a male romantic partner is somewhat explained by parental investment theory, which states that it is the sex who invests more non-voluntary time in children – (women – 9 months compared to men – a few minutes) – who will be the more choosy.”
Moreover, he added, “males rely primarily on visual information in choosing a romantic partner whereas women are also looking for evidence that a male partner also has the ability to provide for her.” In plain English, women wonder, consciously or otherwise, “is this man a provider? is he trustworthy? Is he capable of overcoming adversity?”
Furthermore, in addition to a sense of humor, according to an extensive study involving 64,000 women from all over the world, “kindness,” “supportiveness” and “intelligence” are also highly desirable qualities in a man. Despite the emphasis placed on physical appearance in the realm of dating and mating, attractiveness took a backseat to personality. For instance, only 22.3% of women considered an “attractive body” to be highly important.
There you have it, fellas. Everything you have been told by self-appointed gurus appears to be largely detached from reality.