Remember feminism? It’s that haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. A few weeks ago Fintan O’Toole expressed shock that the housewives of Ye Old Terrible Catholic Ireland once said they were happy. He wasn’t too happy at the idea of their happiness.
Last week, in a similar vein, Vogue decided to run the piece, Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now? As this is 2025 it exploded all over the internet, especially with the youth. BBC Radio 4 even dedicated their entire programme Anti–Social to the piece asking Are women better off single?
This is what goes viral today – trashing heterosexual relationships. The media have for a long time attacked marriage and children, now they are coming for the boyfriend.
The media have demonised children and promoted the childfree. The Economist is calling anyone who supports pro – natalist policies (that’s things like child benefit and childcare to you and me) ‘fertility fanatics.’
Marriage has long been the bogey man of the left–wing media. It is patriarchal, oppressive and bad for women. So don’t be surprised that both the marriage and fertility rates are on a downward slide. It would be one thing if the youth were just having a great old time between the sheets instead but they are not. Shagging is down as everyone on their smartphone. (I have a landline. Just saying.) Human connection is out, scrolling is in.
Enter a one Chanté Joseph who certainly put the work in for her editors at Vogue. Ms Joseph writes:
“If someone so much as says “my boyf–” on social media, they’re muted. There’s nothing I hate more than following someone for fun, only for their content to become “my boyfriend”-ified suddenly. This is probably because, for so long, it felt like we were living in what one of my favorite Substackers calls Boyfriend Land: a world where women’s online identities centered around the lives of their partners, a situation rarely seen reversed. Women were rewarded for their ability to find and keep a man, with elevated social status and praise. It became even more suffocating when this could be leveraged on social media for engagement and, if you were serious enough, financial gain.
However, more recently, there’s been a pronounced shift in the way people showcase their relationships online: far from fully hard-launching romantic partners, straight women are opting for subtler signs—a hand on a steering wheel, clinking glasses at dinner, or the back of someone’s head.”
She reckons that because these boyfriends were not taking centre stage in the social media feeds then perhaps even having a boyfriend was becoming unfashionable.
Ms. Joseph explained some young women were simply superstitious – giving a prominent place to the boyfriend might curse the relationship. Others didn’t want to be stuck with boyfriend photos in their socials should they break – up.
Ms. Joseph also said, “But there was an overwhelming sense, from single and partnered women alike, that regardless of the relationship, being with a man was an almost guilty thing to do. On the Delusional Diaries podcast, fronted by two New York-based influencers, Halley and Jaz, they discuss whether having a boyfriend is “lame” now. “Why does having a boyfriend feel Republican?” read a top comment. “Boyfriends are out of style. They won’t come back in until they start acting right,” read another with thousands of likes. In essence, “having a boyfriend typically takes hits on a woman’s aura,” as one commenter claimed.”
What is wrong with these women? I warned you before that left – wing women are a problem, now they think “having a boyfriend feels Republican.” Sure, having a boyfriend probably is Republican now, as no man actually wants to be a boyfriend of a Democrat voting woman as they are often unhinged. When left–wing women are not celebrating the death of a man shot down in cold blood they are taking unnecessary medication in pregnancy to ‘stick it to Trump.’
The author finishes with the following line “where being single was once a cautionary tale (you’ll end up a “spinster” with loads of cats), it is now becoming a desirable and coveted status—another nail in the coffin of a centuries-old heterosexual fairytale that never really benefited women to begin with.”
I don’t think so. Being single is not a coveted status no matter what the media woman in Vogue try to say. But some young women can be influenced by this nonsense. In fact keeping young men and women single and hostile towards each other is, I believe, a multimillion dollar industry. The more miserable single women there are out there, devoid of love and sex from a boyfriend, the more time they have to read dross like this and then talk about it on social media.
It is disordered that the media are now trying to normalise an attachment disorder, namely attachment avoidant. You can learn more about this here. (All of that podcast is amazing.)
Humans seek attachment – that’s the norm. Infants seek to attach to their mothers but if the attachment is insecure this can cause problems later in life. A little one that is insecurely attached can grow up looking perfectly fine but is attachment avoidant. These could be the kind of people who say, having a boyfriend is embarrassing.
There are loads of people out there like this, it happens more in men than women, but now the feminist mothers in the media are trying to spread this disorder and normalise it. Women can waste years of their life pursuing attachment avoidant men. You can end up marrying them but should that happen it is a case of congratulations! You have won yourself an emotionally distant spouse who spends more time at work/hobbies or with friends than you.
To say being single – long term – is desirable is anti–human, feminist propaganda. Humans pair bond, that is the normal thing securely attached adults seek. If they try to avoid a secure attachment this is sad and not something to be celebrated. A society that seeks to do so is totally disordered.
I have a theory as to what happened here. Many of the editors of these magazines are boomer feminists who dumped their children in nurseries too early and too long. These daughters grew up to be insecurely attached and can barely hold down a relationship. In order to excuse this and to normalise it, these editors now commission pieces from millennials pushing the idea that being insecurely attached is just fine. It’s a clever strategy, it’s also cold hearted.
The feminists in the media have issues with love and in particular with heterosexual love. Ms Joseph again, “And as long as we’re openly rethinking and criticizing heteronormativity, “having a boyfriend” will remain a somewhat fragile, or even contentious, concept within public life.”
Not to normal people it won’t. Wanting to be in a relationship, get married and have children is normal. Loving your boyfriend or husband and children is what it is to be human. What St Paul said 2000 years ago is true. And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
You can be editor of a fashion magazine, partner at a solicitors firm, a Hollywood actor or a multi million pound footballer. You can have power and all knowledge but if you do not have love, you have nothing.
Women in the media such as Vogue magazine want to make having a boyfriend a contentious issue in public life because they are lonely, miserable women. The rest of us normal people who love our boyfriends, spouses and children don’t believe this.
Older feminist women are constantly trying to recruit the Rising Generation into their club. After all, misery loves company.