So how did that Presidential debate on Monday night treat you? A bit of a snoozefest was it? Full to the brim of anti – Israel condemnation from all three candidates? I didn’t watch it, obviously as I had laundry to do but I saw a few clips on Twitter which confirmed that the government has you exactly where they want you: bored to tears.
That debate was in fact a form of trolling of the electorate by FF, FG and Labour. This is what we think of you, these are the people we think you deserve to have represent you on the world stage.
I doubt you could put a sheet of paper between any of the candidates and government policy on any of the issues. And that includes the left – wing Catherine Connolly. This is political debate in Ireland: conformist, predictable and exactly what the government wants. Did Catherine Connolly say anything that either the Taoiseach or the Tánaiste would be enormously uncomfortable with? I doubt it. Job done then.
This is precisely what the media and government (both enforcing acceptable opinion) between them want. You can keep your ideas on immigration and housing and education to yourself or maybe Twitter. And even what you say on Twitter might not be tolerated if it is wrong – speak.
I know conservatives and nationalists and other assorted right wing lunatics think they might be having a moment with the whole Maria Steen fandango but remind yourself: she is not on the ballot. It can be easy to forget that given the near wall to wall coverage my mate Maria was given at the weekend. The usually hostile media were clearly devastated that they will now be deprived of anything interesting or indeed glamorous over the next four weeks. Just what the heck will they talk about? Heather Humphreys blow-dry and Gaza? I repeat: I’ll be doing the laundry.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that when it comes to the media in general the best conservative is one you cannot vote for. In the US the media often get quite teary eyed or at least respectful the minute a former Republican drops dead. They had been telling you not so long ago that this person was a fascist, an extremist, a racist and a danger to women. A few years later and once Trump came on the scene low and behold, blow me down with the feather, the likes of Senator and Republican Presidential nominee John McCain were in fact acceptable Republicans. This was only reinforced once McCain died. Safely in his coffin, dead a dingbat, McCain became the media’s ‘True Republican’ and a man they could do business with if only he weren’t so dead. Oh well.
And so it is with Maria although thankfully she is very much alive. I can confirm that as I met her at the weekend. But she is not on the Presidential ballot. Conservatives in Ireland cannot even get on a ballot for a position that holds no executive power. In truth Maria is mild mannered and moderate (much more moderate than me) and she was still kept well away from the ballot.
The President can refer legislation to the Supreme Court to test its constitutionality and dissolve the Dáil. These are important powers. But it is a figurehead position with no power over immigration, housing, health, education, gay marriage, whether throuples should be legalised, abortion, child care, the battle against the hornet invasion, bee keeping, the use of the Dunnes stores vouchers scheme, who gets to go on The Late Late Show to say ‘whatever they fuck they want’ and least of all foreign policy. The last one is important as it is the only thing the current line – up seems interested in.
The role of President has no executive power. I do not know why any of them are asked questions on these issues. A legitimate question might be are there any circumstances you would resign from office or not attend a meeting with a Head of state if required but that’s about it. Don’t bother lecturing me that they ‘should reflect the views of the Irish people.’ No. That’s what councillors and TDs are for. The views of the President on foreign policy are not more relevant than their views on Love Island. The only thing that matters is what their choice of scissors will be when cutting the ribbon to open a school. Enough.
I have done the rounds with these three handpicked candidates and having watched some clips on Virgin I’m not voting for any of them. None of them deserve my vote. None. I’ll decide in the morning whether to get off my sofa and spoil my vote, but I am not making any promises.
The fact that conservatives cannot even get a mildly conservative person like Maria Steen on the ballot is a shocking indictment of, well, the Irish conservative machine. Senator Michael McDowell explained in the Irish Times on Wednesday that he did not nominate Maria for two reasons. First, he didn’t share her conservative views. His record “as a parliamentarian since 1987 has been consistently liberal on social and economic matters.” He concluded that Maria’s election “which might very well have happened…. would have been divisive and a step backwards for the kind of Ireland I believe in.” Fair enough. That is honest.
But conservatives should be under no doubt who their allies are and it is certainly not Senator McDowell. He admits that he views Maria as divisive but also feared that she would win the Presidency. To win Maria would have had to put together some sort of broad coalition of support. ‘Divisive’ candidates cannot win elections in a PR system. In truth, McDowell feared that Maria would have enough support from across the Irish electorate to win this Presidency therefore was unwilling to let the electorate decide themselves whether Maria was ultimately a unifying or divisive person. McDowell was sure as hell not going to let the Irish electorate be trusted to decide that one.
Irish conservatives have a lot of work to do. Maybe we should spend less time praying and more time standing for election and ‘doing politics.’ It’s just a crazy idea I had last night while doing the laundry.