The British Prime Minister Keir Starmer is the melancholy but predictable conclusion to the decay of an office that had began under Tony Blair. The latter – part Hughie Green from Opportunity Knocks, and part the droog Alex [Malcolm McDowell) in Clockwork Orange [look them up] – did more damage to the British Constitution than Oliver Cromwell. Since Blair’s corrupt and infective imperium, the quality of the occupants of 10 Downing Street has remorselessly deteriorated, resulting in the human nadir today that is Starmer.
It’s too soon to declare that Starmer is the last prime minister of a functioning United Kingdom, but merely that he appears to be a perfect simulacrum of such. He is like an eyeless albino eel in the freezing, inkblack waters of the Titanic, convinced of its authority over the entire vessel: bleach-blond, blind and bland, yet in charge! Of course, he’s not, for he is being controlled and devoured by a lamprey known as Miliband, with the two men now being metabolically inseparable. But quite unlike the prime minister, the lamprey is focused and driven, and so, in the middle of the most ferocious resource-war since 1945, Starmer’s government still refuses to open up the gas and oilfields of the North Sea. This is absurd as Ireland opting for a vegan diet during the Great Famine, forbidding the consumption of milk, butter, bacon, and instead hailing a grass diet, with green lips, empty bellies and virtuous death. Why? Because Starmer is weak and cannot resist Miliband’s messiah-certainties.
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