When I was growing up, if there was ever a woman-in-labour scene on the telly and my father walked in, he walked straight back out again. It’s a common sense move I adopt myself. I avoid women having baby scenes, I don’t ever watch the on-going and excellent BBC series Call the Midwife. I do this not because the film or series might be poor viewing but because I can’t deal with the emotional upheaval. I am, in the parlance of our time, ‘protecting my mental health.’
So I was put on high alert when I read Rosita Boland’s review of Hamnet in the Irish Times:
“Why does the film have not one but two excruciating birth scenes, the oldest cliche in film? Why would anyone think this is gripping, moving stuff?
Once was bad enough. The second time around I considered going to the bathroom to skip the scene of the birth of twins. It was just as unmoving and tiresome to watch as the first birth scene.”
Finally, I thought. It’s not just me. I’m not the only one to suspect that Hamnet has been vastly overrated. Two birth scenes and the death of a child means you could not pay me to watch that film.
First, I should say that I believe both Irish actors Jessie Buckley and Paul Mescal are fantastic. I wish them both well and it would be wonderful if Jessie Buckley takes home that Oscar. I saw her in the BBC War and Peace series and thought she was exceptional.
However, I, like Rosita Boland, object to blatant emotional manipulation. Boland said “I felt as if someone was trying overly hard to emotionally manipulate me, in the coarsest possible way.” That someone is Steven Spielberg, master of the not so subtle emotional manipulation. He is a producer on Hamnet. Emotional manipulation is what he does. It’s why John Williams composed the score to most of his movies. He literally goes heavy on the violins. Max Richter composes the score for Hamnet. I love both composers because they use music to move you.
People should have learned from Spielberg by now. Look, I like many of his movies. Schindler’s List, the film about civilization’s defining disaster, the Jewish Holocaust in Europe, is very important. But many of his films that are not documenting a devastating historical fact are heavy on the emotional manipulation. As long as you know that before you settle down in the cinema or the TV, then enjoy your two hours and bring your Kleenex.
Take E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. This is a great children’s movie but it features a classic “resurrection scene.” That little alien guy, all he wants to do is go home. The adventure progresses and ET nearly dies but then suddenly comes alive again. That happens a fair bit in Spielberg movies. And when ET says goodbye to all those little poppets at the end, including the ridiculously cute Drew Barrymore, well you’d have to have a heart of stone not to cry.
Then there is War Horse written by Michael Morpurgo. I read the book with my son which is a good read. The story recounts the experiences of Joey, a horse bought by the British Army for service in World War I in France and the attempts of 15-year-old Albert, his previous owner, to bring him safely home. Michael Morpurgo does not put Joey’s life in direct danger. He uses Joey to illustrate the futility of the Great War.
In the film however, at the very end of war and the end of movie there is a direct threat to Joey’s life. Spielberg has someone about to administer the shot to the head, when at the very, very last minute, his life is saved by the hero intervening. A Spielberg classic.
Spielberg also did the Colour Purple. That is one depressing book and movie, featuring at the very beginning incest and then the father taking the resulting baby into woods to kill. We don’t see that part, Lord have mercy, but we don’t have to.
Hamnet also features a dead child. But before we get to that are the labour scenes. I have read that when the twins are born one appears to be dead and is about to be taken until the mother insists she holds her. Miraculously the baby comes alive (which I would believe given the time). Only Spielberg could do the birth, death and resurrection of a newborn baby in one scene.
Ultimately though I don’t need to see Hamnet as I don’t want to get invested and attached to a family only to watch their son die. Who watches this stuff for entertainment? Who would inflict this kind of emotional pain on themselves for relaxation? We have the news. You don’t need it in down time. Was that war in Gaza not bad enough?
Rosita Boland, “And, oh my, did it all go on and on and on, until I felt I had been at the cinema for such very long hours. By the time the film ended I was close to comatose with boredom, and rolling my eyes at the screen.”
For once, I owe a debt of gratitude to the Irish Times. Nearly dead baby, dead son and two labour scenes? Thanks, but no thanks.