A foster mother who says she and her husband have been taking care of children in need for three decades says that she has seen kids ‘falling through the cracks’ once they reach adulthood and the nature of the state support available to them changes or becomes no longer available.
The woman – who asked not to be named in order to protect the identity of her foster daughter – told Gript that the girl is still living with her family in their home which has become “chaotic” due to the number of people now living there.
The woman says that due to issues with which she says the housing crisis plays “a huge part”, her two adult sons have moved back into the family home where her 80-year-old mother is also living with her, her husband, and their now adult foster daughter.
She said that she loves her foster daughter, pointing out that she “hates” to use the word “foster” when describing her, and that she is happy to have the young woman still under her roof but that the family’s circumstances are “difficult” at present.
“She’s in limbo,” she said, adding, “it’s bad enough my two birth children are in the situation they’re in.”
The woman said that her younger son had returned to education in order to up-skill in his career in hopes of being approved for a mortgage, while her older son who “fell on very hard times” is in his final year of apprenticeship training.
“He’s living in a box room full of clothes,” she said.
She explained how the girl, who is doing a PLC course, comes from a background where addiction issues caused her to be unable to stay with her biological parents and how she suffers with anxiety.
“She’s in the other box room,” she said.
Speaking to Gript, Senator Sharon Keogan said that although the state does provide ongoing care to children who grow up in the foster system, various issues including a lack of continuity of specially assigned case workers can make it difficult for grown up foster kids to adjust into adult life.
Senator Keogan said that although the system provides a range of supports including funding for third level education and related costs that young people from “troubled” backgrounds often struggle especially in circumstances where there is “huge turn around” of case workers due to “burnout”.
Keogan said that trust and familiarity with case workers is essential to troubled young people for them to be able to thrive, but that the emotionally taxing nature of the job means that it can be difficult for a young person to have the same case worker guide them into adulthood and all the new tasks it brings.
She said that another big “problem” was when former foster kids “age out” of education after they reach 23-24 years.
“They’re in this system that is completely wrap- around, as in they don’t have rent, they don’t have bills to pay, so they don’t really have life skills,” she said, explaining that growing up in the system can make it difficult to adjust to the responsibilities of adult life.
Describing people like her foster daughter as “the most vulnerable people in society” the woman said the young woman, now 21, told her then case worker that she wanted to go on the housing list when she was 18 but that this didn’t happen.
She said the young woman wants to “live independently” but has issues with dyslexia although she is dedicated to her studies and does her best to work as well.
She explained how although the government provides Housing Assistance Payment (HAP) to young people like her foster daughter, that this is “unrealistic” as there are so few properties that accept the payment available.
“I’m standing up for her because she’s in my care,” she said, expressing worry for similar young adults who have “nobody to speak up for them.”
She said that the situation has left her and her family feeling as if they are “guilty and in limbo”.
An essential role that often feels thankless.
Speaking of her and her husband’s decades of service to the state as foster parents, the woman said that people like her save the state “millions” of euros by opening their home and their hearts to children in need.
“We’ve given our lives to saving the state millions for looking after these kids out of pure love and wanting to give back to society,” she said, adding, “We don’t have a pension after 30 years”.
She said that after 25-years of looking after vulnerable kids on behalf of the state she was given a printed off image in a frame “that looked like it came from the euro shop” and “a candle”.